I Read Stuff!!

Hanlon's Razor: Never attribute to malice that which can be adequately explained by stupidity.

Friday, January 30, 2009


The Oscars have announced their nominee list for the 81st Academy Awards, and as per usual, they have failed to recognize an entire genre of film. This year in particular has a decided 'Art as Broccoli' feeling to it.

Don't get me wrong, I respect them as a critical body, and I am interested in finding out who wins. However, it's difficult to invest myself in 'Best Picture' when the nominations are exclusively Dramas.

I want a 'Most Entertaining' category.

Thankfully, they aren't the only game in town. The Razzies have released their nominees for the worst AAA titles to hit the theaters, and their entire awards process revolves around entertainment.

I hope Uwe Boll gives an acceptance speech for his 'Worst Career Achievement'.

Thursday, January 29, 2009

Driving Skills

My first instinct is to label this as terrible driving skills, but at the same time I don't think I could get this to happen if I tried repeatedly. Clearly, this woman has no equal.

Wednesday, January 28, 2009

Partial Eclipse

January 26th, 2009, Manila Bay, Philippines

Monday, January 26, 2009

No Kitty, This Is My Pot Pie

In college, one of my favorite meals was Marie Callender’s Chicken Pot Pie. Everything you needed for a nutritional meal came in one small package. 12 minutes in the microwave, and you had a tasty dinner. It even comes with its own bowl, so there's no mess.

The perfect food until I read this...

Men's Health rated it as the Worst Supermarket Meal of 2009. Weighing in with an impressive 1,060 calories, 64 grams of fat, half of which is saturated, and a 1,440 mg brick of sodium this ridiculous chemical cocktail would kill a man if consumed in large quantities. Lucky for me, my wife doesn't like pot pies, so I don't buy them anymore.

We'll be sticking to our healthier Chipotle burritos.

Wednesday, January 21, 2009

The Theory of Intelligence

A friend sent this to me last night. I've heard the argument before, but I hadn't heard it presented with such elegance.

Cliff explains to Norm,

'Well you see, Norm, it's like this... A herd of buffalo can only move as fast as the slowest buffalo. And when the herd is hunted, it is the slowest and weakest ones at the back that are killed first. This natural selection is good for the herd as a whole, because the general speed and health of the whole group keeps improving by the regular killing of the weakest members.

In much the same way, the human brain can only operate as fast as the slowest brain cells. Now, as we know, excessive intake of alcohol kills brain cells. But naturally, it attacks the slowest and weakest brain cells first. In this way, regular consumption of beer eliminates the weaker brain cells, making the brain a faster and more efficient machine. And that, Norm, is why you always feel smarter after a few beers.'

Thursday, January 15, 2009

Star Wars (by Amanda)

I know it's shocking, but some people haven't actually seen the Star Wars trilogy. It's tragic, I know.

This young lady one these unfortunate souls. She's seen bits and pieces though, and based off of those pieces she will retell the epic adventure.

I think Sally Struthers is working on a Telethon for people like Amanda.

Wednesday, January 14, 2009

The Cost of Eyelashes

Coming soon from the same people who brought you Botox, it's Lumigan! Recently approved by the FDA, these glaucoma treating eye drops have the side effect of causing a patient's eyelashes to grow longer and fuller.

Of course, your eyes and eyelids might also change colors, but who cares! Longer eyelashes! At $120 a month, it's as cheap as Botox. Hell, I bet you could get them both done on the same trip. Hurray!

It's a good thing there's nothing better to spend that money on...

Friday, January 09, 2009

There Can Be Only One!

...or millions if you’re a Turritopsis. Turns out this jellyfish has figured out how to live forever. The trick is to go through puberty in reverse.

After growing all the way up and asexually growing some babies. The adult Turritopsis reverses the process by reabsorbing its tentacles. It then turns itself inside out and reattaches to a surface. Once attached the babies are released, and the Turritopsis regrows its body to become young again.

Currently Scientists say they have no evidence that the Turritopsis will ever die barring disease, predators, and sword swinging MacLeods.

Question, would you be willing to regress to junior high after spawning? I assume your brain would have to return to the gutter from which it came...

Wednesday, January 07, 2009

Claw Machines

As a kid claw machines seem so amazing. Here is a chance to win a brand new toy for the low cost of a token! We can do it!

Only after many failures and some experience with the value of money, do we finally understand the futility of playing. This new understanding combined with teenage growth spurts, leads to an unsavory brush with crime. We try to stick our arm up the machine to take our prize.

Only the truly genius of human kind discover theft young enough that cat burglary is possible...

Monday, January 05, 2009

Fry Frenchy

If you've ever taken a psych class, you've probably read up on Milgram's shock experiment. Whether you've heard of it or not, here is the break down.

In 1963, Stanley Milgram published an experiment on obedience to authority. The setup was a room with a microphone, speaker, a dial, and a button. A man in a white lab coat would take you to this room and give you a list of questions and answers. Your job was to ask the questions into the microphone. The answer would come from someone in another room.

If the answer was wrong, you pushed the button which delivered a slight shock to the person on the other end of the speaker. After each wrong answer the dial was increased slightly which raised the level of shock. The dial went all the way up to 450 volts.

The shocks were not real, but you were told they were. At 150 volts the actor on the other end would begin to cry out, and ask to leave the study. This steadily got worse until the actor was screaming and finally completely silent.

At the time of the experiment, 80 percent of the participants were willing to continue to apply the shock after 150 volts. 65% of the ordinary people pushed through to the maximum 450 volts.

45 years later the experiment has been run again on a more experienced American public. We're jaded, and we trust no one. The results...

70% pushed through until they were told to stop.

GameInterestRelease Date
Civilization IV1
C&C 31
Company of Heroes1
Half Life 21
Half Life 2: Episode One1
Supreme Commander1
Call of Duty 22
Dungeon Runners2
Dungeon Siege II2
Far Cry2
Galactic Civilization II2
Hitman: Blood Money2
Jade Empire2
Neverwinter Nights 22
Sam & Max: Episode 12
Titan Quest2
Dark Messiah Might and Magic3
Heroes of Might and Magic V3
Indigo Prophecy3
LEGO Star Wars3
Marvel Ultimate Alliance3
Space Rangers 2: The Rise of the Dominators3
STALKER: Shadow of Chernobyl3
Stubbs the Zombie3
War Front3
Warhammer: Mark of Chaos3
Pirates of the Burning SeaM6/1/2007
Enemy Territory: Quake Wars?6/5/2007
Two Worlds?6/26/07
Sins of A Solar Empire?8/1/2007
Mass Effect19/7/07
Age of ConanM10/30/07
Crysis1Fall 2007
Elveon?Fall 2007
Half-Life 2: Episode Two1Fall 2007
Portals1Fall 2007
Spore1Fall 2007
Stranglehold?Fall 2007
Tabula RasaMFall 2007
Team Fortress 22Fall 2007
Dragon Age?Winter 2007
Fable 2?Winter 2007
Field Ops?Winter 2007
Halo Wars?Winter 2007
Gods & Heroes: Rome RisingMWinter 2007
Haze?Winter 2007
Hellgate: London1Winter 2007
HuxleyMWinter 2007
Kane & Lynch: Dead Men?Winter 2007
Left 4 Dead?Winter 2007
The AgencyMSpring 2008
Empire Earth III?Spring 2008
Guild Wars 2 MSpring 2008
Jericho?Spring 2008
Sacred 2?Spring 2008
Savage 2?Spring 2008
Time Shift2Spring 2008
Universe at War: Earth Assault3Spring 2008
The Witcher?Spring 2008
Darkest of Days?2008
On The Rain-Slick Precipice of Darkeness: Episode 122008
Warhammer OnlineM2008
Alliance: The Silent War??
Alone in the Dark??
Assassin's Creed??
BioWare MMO??
The Crossing??
Dungeon Hero??
Fallout 3??
Lego Batman??
Space Seige??
Culdcept SagaPC??
Gears of WarPC??
God of WarPC??
Beautiful KatamariPC??
Resistance: Fall of ManPC??
Odin's SpherePC??
Castle CrashersPC??

1 - I will buy it
2 - I'll buy it at discount
3 - Other people think it's good, but I wasn't interested when I first heard about it
M - Mainly Multiplayer. See if friends get interested.
? - Find out more about this game
PC? - Will it be released on the PC?