I Read Stuff!!

Hanlon's Razor: Never attribute to malice that which can be adequately explained by stupidity.

Thursday, March 19, 2009

Mosquitoes Get the Pew Pew

Do you remember the Star Wars missile defense program from the 80's? A part of that research revolved around the MIRACL, a high powered deuterium fluoride laser that actually shot down a number of test missiles. Some of those same scientists have moved on to greener pastures, specifically the Bill & Melinda Gates Foundation.

Ol' Bill and friends have recently been making a lot of noise about solving the Malaria problem. Disease infested mosquitoes are killing millions of people world wide. With a little direction and a healthy dose of cash, those crazy kids have developed one hell of a bug zapper.

The idea is that it would detect female mosquitoes, the ones that bite, by the frequency that they beat their wings. Once identified, a fast tracking laser pops out and roasts the sucker, Loony Tunes style.

It can kill millions of mosquitoes in minutes, and I want one bad. Screw those stupid candles and bug spray. I want a strategic mosquito defense platform shooting red hot beams of light at the blood suckers.

And I want them to make the sound of popping popcorn when they die... more therapeutic than bubble wrap.


Blogger Unknown said...

I heard Listerine kills them. And as fun as the red hot laser sounds, I bet you can't get it at Target for $1.89. I'm just sayin'

3/19/2009 5:52 PM  
Blogger mattjustmull said...

We could make it a government project. Use the stimulus money to outfit every home with their own laser. Think of all the jobs it would create!

(Question, would mosquitoes evolve a defense mechanism?)

3/19/2009 9:43 PM  
Blogger Knsstxs said...

Though I would love to see every house in the suburbs with lasers, I don't think this is a good idea. I really don't think we should be messing with the food chain.

3/20/2009 8:43 AM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

LOVE your title--pew! pew pew pew!! I love that noise.

Food chain schmood chain. Like I said, people would so totally start breeding their own mosquitoes just to keep their lasers firing. I bet that's where crazy mutations and evolved defenses would come from. Like, the ones with slower or faster beating wings (they go undetected) would be selected for survival by the laser.

3/20/2009 2:18 PM  
Blogger mattjustmull said...

Oh noes! The stealth mosquito!

According to Dr. Jordin Kare, nothing feeds exclusively on mosquitoes. The good doctor believes the ecosystem can live without them.

3/21/2009 4:46 PM  

Post a Comment

<< Home

GameInterestRelease Date
Civilization IV1
C&C 31
Company of Heroes1
Half Life 21
Half Life 2: Episode One1
Supreme Commander1
Call of Duty 22
Dungeon Runners2
Dungeon Siege II2
Far Cry2
Galactic Civilization II2
Hitman: Blood Money2
Jade Empire2
Neverwinter Nights 22
Sam & Max: Episode 12
Titan Quest2
Dark Messiah Might and Magic3
Heroes of Might and Magic V3
Indigo Prophecy3
LEGO Star Wars3
Marvel Ultimate Alliance3
Space Rangers 2: The Rise of the Dominators3
STALKER: Shadow of Chernobyl3
Stubbs the Zombie3
War Front3
Warhammer: Mark of Chaos3
Pirates of the Burning SeaM6/1/2007
Enemy Territory: Quake Wars?6/5/2007
Two Worlds?6/26/07
Sins of A Solar Empire?8/1/2007
Mass Effect19/7/07
Age of ConanM10/30/07
Crysis1Fall 2007
Elveon?Fall 2007
Half-Life 2: Episode Two1Fall 2007
Portals1Fall 2007
Spore1Fall 2007
Stranglehold?Fall 2007
Tabula RasaMFall 2007
Team Fortress 22Fall 2007
Dragon Age?Winter 2007
Fable 2?Winter 2007
Field Ops?Winter 2007
Halo Wars?Winter 2007
Gods & Heroes: Rome RisingMWinter 2007
Haze?Winter 2007
Hellgate: London1Winter 2007
HuxleyMWinter 2007
Kane & Lynch: Dead Men?Winter 2007
Left 4 Dead?Winter 2007
The AgencyMSpring 2008
Empire Earth III?Spring 2008
Guild Wars 2 MSpring 2008
Jericho?Spring 2008
Sacred 2?Spring 2008
Savage 2?Spring 2008
Time Shift2Spring 2008
Universe at War: Earth Assault3Spring 2008
The Witcher?Spring 2008
Darkest of Days?2008
On The Rain-Slick Precipice of Darkeness: Episode 122008
Warhammer OnlineM2008
Alliance: The Silent War??
Alone in the Dark??
Assassin's Creed??
BioWare MMO??
The Crossing??
Dungeon Hero??
Fallout 3??
Lego Batman??
Space Seige??
Culdcept SagaPC??
Gears of WarPC??
God of WarPC??
Beautiful KatamariPC??
Resistance: Fall of ManPC??
Odin's SpherePC??
Castle CrashersPC??

1 - I will buy it
2 - I'll buy it at discount
3 - Other people think it's good, but I wasn't interested when I first heard about it
M - Mainly Multiplayer. See if friends get interested.
? - Find out more about this game
PC? - Will it be released on the PC?