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Thursday, March 19, 2009

Mosquitoes Get the Pew Pew

Do you remember the Star Wars missile defense program from the 80's? A part of that research revolved around the MIRACL, a high powered deuterium fluoride laser that actually shot down a number of test missiles. Some of those same scientists have moved on to greener pastures, specifically the Bill & Melinda Gates Foundation.

Ol' Bill and friends have recently been making a lot of noise about solving the Malaria problem. Disease infested mosquitoes are killing millions of people world wide. With a little direction and a healthy dose of cash, those crazy kids have developed one hell of a bug zapper.

The idea is that it would detect female mosquitoes, the ones that bite, by the frequency that they beat their wings. Once identified, a fast tracking laser pops out and roasts the sucker, Loony Tunes style.

It can kill millions of mosquitoes in minutes, and I want one bad. Screw those stupid candles and bug spray. I want a strategic mosquito defense platform shooting red hot beams of light at the blood suckers.

And I want them to make the sound of popping popcorn when they die... more therapeutic than bubble wrap.

5 Comments:

Blogger Zoeby said...

I heard Listerine kills them. And as fun as the red hot laser sounds, I bet you can't get it at Target for $1.89. I'm just sayin'

3/19/2009 5:52 PM  
Blogger mattjustmull said...

We could make it a government project. Use the stimulus money to outfit every home with their own laser. Think of all the jobs it would create!

(Question, would mosquitoes evolve a defense mechanism?)

3/19/2009 9:43 PM  
Blogger Allison said...

Though I would love to see every house in the suburbs with lasers, I don't think this is a good idea. I really don't think we should be messing with the food chain.

3/20/2009 8:43 AM  
OpenID erinfaye said...

LOVE your title--pew! pew pew pew!! I love that noise.

Food chain schmood chain. Like I said, people would so totally start breeding their own mosquitoes just to keep their lasers firing. I bet that's where crazy mutations and evolved defenses would come from. Like, the ones with slower or faster beating wings (they go undetected) would be selected for survival by the laser.

3/20/2009 2:18 PM  
Blogger mattjustmull said...

Oh noes! The stealth mosquito!

According to Dr. Jordin Kare, nothing feeds exclusively on mosquitoes. The good doctor believes the ecosystem can live without them.

3/21/2009 4:46 PM  

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