I Read Stuff!

Heat Issues

2011-02-01T15:26:00.002-06:00

I've recently run into a spot of bad luck when it comes to computers. First the power cord for my laptop dies. Soon after, the battery ran out of juice, and with no way to recharge it, the laptop was done. It survived 7 years of abuse, so it wasn't a huge loss.

A week later my wife's computer began shutting itself off. Annoying, but still not completely unexpected. At 6 years old it had reached the end of its expected lifespan. I was hoping it would last one more month, so the timing was rather terrible.

Then my computer died.

My computer was only 3 years old. It had no excuses. Turns out there's a bug in the motherboard that locks it up tight when you send it to sleep. Unrecoverable.

3 computers in as many weeks, and we were suddenly living in the 80's.

We picked up a fancy new Dell for only $600. From a raw power per dollar standpoint, no one is even trying to compete with Dell. It was a thousand bucks cheaper than the closest comparison.

I ordered a $60 motherboard for my computer. I haven't installed a motherboard since 1999, so anxiety was a bit high as I played operation on one of modern life's necessary components. Luckily, everything went smoothly, and the office had a computer again. I set this machine up on my wife's desk, and placed her broken machine in the corner for later analysis.

I then ordered a new gaming machine for me: liquid cooling, 12 gigs of ram, and a processor 5 times faster than my last computer. That's a bit faster than Moore's law.

The new computer runs amazingly, everything pops. I ran 3Dmark to rank it in the journals of history, and a long beep came ominously from the box.

Shit.

I killed the benchmark fearing the worst, that I'd overheated my CPU and melted my new box to slag.

To my relief, it was fine. Nothing appeared to be broken, so I ran the benchmark. Again the beep, and again I canceled the benchmark.

I rummaged around in the CD's they'd sent me and came up with the motherboard disc. Modern motherboards are covered in sensors to tell you all about what is going on in hard, merciless numbers. My CPU was peaking at 60 degrees celsius during the most brutal benchmark test. That's a full 35 degrees BELOW the danger zone. Clearly the liquid cooling was the correct purchase.

That means the trouble is in the GPU. Unfortunatly, nVidia does not supply an easy way to monitor your GPU tempurature, so I had to pull down the third party app, Afterburner. It has some really neat histograms on temperature, fan speed, and memory usage. My GPU was climbing all the way up to 80 degrees celsius during the graphics benchmark. Lucky for me the GTX 470 is rated up to 105 degrees.

With my heat worries alleviated, I decided to let the benchmark complete. It wasn't going to melt to slag, so maybe something else would shake out. Half way through the test, the machine powered completely off.

Shit. Again.

I stared at my beautiful dead computer, and realized it was still beeping. Why was it beeping without power? I pulled the case off and stuck my head inside.

The beeping was not coming from my computer.

The beeping was coming from my battery back up. The new machine pulled too much juice at its peek performance for the backup to handle. I plugged the computer directly into the wall, and it wasted the 3Dmark11 Pro benchmark with a score of 4300.

All is right again at the homestead, or will be when the new lamp for our TV arrives.

Life Hacks

2011-01-20T09:53:00.003-06:00

This is a neat infographic with some useful tips on making your life easier and more organized.

Click to embiggen.

A few notes,

Domestic Hacks:

1. I don't reverse the hangers. Instead I always put clean clothes on the left and choose clothes to wear from the right. The shirts on the far right at the end of the season are sent to goodwill.

3. The movie Vengeance demonstrates this with a thin cord over the top of the door instead of a rubber band. This is why hotels use the solid metal hoops instead of the chains. Of course, a kid's suction cup arrow will defeat those.

4. Eating a banana 'upside down' is not all that great. There is a black nub on that side you don't want to eat, and that nub also serves to keep the banana in the peel for the last bite. If you follow their advice you end up eating the nub and the banana falls out of peel towards the end.

Work/Productivity Hacks:

1. This is awesome. Basically a weeks vacation in the company's bathroom. What more could you want? Make sure you save the world with that time.

3. Beer judges have to go to school where they are asked to drink beer that has been deliberately damaged for their BJCP certification. You are then tested on identifying how the beer was damaged. i.e. improper storage, hot fermentation, left over sugars etc. (Yes, there are floaties)

Health/Body Hacks:

2. This is something I really want to try. I hear staying awake for 24 hours will also reset your clock.

4. Super, but have you ever tried to open a coconut? It's next to impossible without a machete.

6. Do people over the age of 23 get brain freezes? (I would say 16, but college creates a lot of dumb opportunities.)

7. This never works for me.

8. Putting new pillow cases on and rotating towels sounds like a lot of work, but if it is effective, then it'll be worth it.

Miscellaneous Hacks:

1. This was discovered by Earl in the Best Buy parking lot in the 90's. He could unlock his car from forever away.

Next Time

2011-01-10T13:50:00.002-06:00

We had an amazing time at PAX this year, and there are plans in the works to hit PAX: East in Boston around 2013. However, next time I’d like to play it a little different. Use the lessons learned etc.

1. Plan to be at most if not all of the Mike and Jerry’s events
2. Try to hit at least one JoCo Concert
3. Play a lot more board games and D&D

The last one there is the dark horse. I spend a lot of my time reading about and playing video games, so when we walked through the convention hall, I’d seen most of the big players before. I knew which games I would buy, and which games I would pass on. I pretty much knew what to expect from that hall floor.

What surprised me is how much fun I had playing Castle Ravenloft in one of the side halls. It's actually a cooperative board game. You aren't competing with your fellow gamers, but working together to defeat the challenges of the game itself. After reading GeekDad’s post on PAX, I lamented missing so many new and interesting board games that I could have tried out.

Oh, and next time, we’re doing the delve.

D&D: A Spectator's Sport

2011-01-04T11:33:00.003-06:00

We almost skipped what turned out to be the highlight of PAX. The PA kids have an ongoing D&D game with Wizards of the Coast that was originally designed to show off the new 4E system. Their podcast of the game has proven to be so popular that they have continued their adventures sporadically throughout the years. This was the first PAX where the event took place in front of a live studio audience i.e. us.

The show was Saturday afternoon, so by then we had thoroughly learned the two major lessons of ‘Go to everything that the PA kids are involved in’ and ‘Go early because the line will be epic’. We arrived almost 2 hours early to take our place pretty close to the front of the line, which quickly filled out behind us with a thousand people.

The game itself is hard to describe. It was a combination of stand up comedy, D&D, good friends, and a ton of inside jokes. Kurtz and Krahulik are in rare form for the entire adventure. If you’re steeped in the geek culture at all, you owe it to yourself to watch this 2 and a half hour game.

Part I
Part II
Part III
Part IV
Part V
Part VI
Part VII
Part VIII
Part IX
Part X

After the show, we were slow to leave because we wanted to get a closer look at the table they were using. Everyone filed out, except for a handful of us, and the PA kids. I happened to have a first edition PA book in my bag on the off chance an autograph opportunity arose. It arose.

I scored signatures from both Mike and Jerry, and I'm now the proud owner of a piece of internet history.

Panels

2010-12-28T10:26:00.001-06:00

We did actually make it to some talks about game design and story telling. There were some very key lessons learned during these few hours. As I said before, lines form early to everything at PAX, so plan accordingly. However these lines are different than what you find at Six Flags or Disney Land.

We joined the queue about halfway back, and were immediately embroiled in a game of Apples to Apples or a discussion of Plants vs Zombies. In one line a spontaneous multi-round 'face off' occurred where the participants attempted to come up with the most creative dirty look. It was co-op too, so you were judged on how well your face warping worked with your partner's.

(As an aside, you can see us playing Apples to Apples for about a half second in Penny Arcade: Season 2: Episode 1. Sam is the easiest to spot at about the 12:40 mark.)

Once inside the theater, a harsh truth is realized. The panel's fun factor is 100% dependent on the panel leader's experience. Our first group had a couple of crazy indie developers who's games no one at PAX had played. If no one at PAX knows about your game, it might as well not exist.

Luckily, there was one lady who had worked on Assassin's Creed and Guild Wars. She had interesting comments to make, which were put into context because we'd played those games. So remember the lesson, the session name is little more than an advertisement. Make sure more than one speaker has experiences you care about.

After the session, the floor was opened up to questions. This brings up another excellent lesson. Vary your panel topics from day to day, because the questions for story telling and pen & paper RPGs are exactly the same.

The Convention Floor

2010-12-20T11:03:00.002-06:00

We got to spend a lot of time on the convention floor on Friday, hours in fact, and we still didn't see it all. We were still discovering new nooks and crannies on Sunday.

Ultimately I think the best strategy for taking it all in is to avoid lines. Generally speaking the lines formed in front of the AAA titles. These are the same titles with huge marketing departments, so you are bound to already know a lot about the game. In fact, we generally knew which games we were going to buy and which we were going to skip.

Don't spend time on games you know you're going to buy! All you're doing is exposing yourself to spoilers, seeing early development bugs, or making yourself pine for a game not due out for 6 months. None of that is good!

Look at the both setup itself! Talk to developers about where the game is going, but don't wait in a line for 5 minutes of gameplay. It'll take you that long to figure out how to invert the mouse.

It was a lot more fun to talk to some of the indie game developers, and play games like Drumskullz and End of Nations. The draw of the AAA titles was clearly the booth itself. I mean, they had a TRON light cycle and a Nazgul. What more could you want?

One booth caught our attention because there didn't seem to be an entrance. In fact the whole thing seemed designed to prevent us from seeing what in the hell FireFall was.

After circling around we found the front where they were signing people up for their newsletter campaign. This is exactly what we don't want. We want to see the game itself.

Slipping by the front lackeys we found a sequestered booth were some guy was playing the game. He was explaining the action to two other guys, so we stepped up to listen.

We liked what we heard, so we started asking questions, a lot of questions. In fact, the guy was suddenly giving us a demo instead of the original visitors. We were just getting excited about the game when we were interrupted by one of the lackeys from the front.

It turns out this was FireFall's exclusive launch, and we had just crashed a press event.

They kicked us out. (yeah, that's twice in one weekend)

But we got what we wanted! And it turned out to be an exclusive!

Consumerism

2010-12-14T15:18:00.002-06:00

We left the main stage in search of food. This was the first true failing of PAX. What do you do for lunch? You would guess that feeding 70k would be a priority in the planning of such and event, but you would be wrong.

PAX relies almost 100% on downtown Seattle's supplied eateries. There's a small concession stand on the second floor, but I dare not call it food. We were forced to survive on Subway, Chipotle, and Jimmie Johns for lunch. It wasn't until Saturday night that we found a great local bar/flatbread place to dine.

Yes, we walked all over downtown, and yes, we had the power of the internet in our hands, but none of that really helped us fine 'the' place to eat lunch downtown.

The second major failing was swag. I brought money to burn on my soon to be fashionably geek chic daughter, and was denied. The place was jammed packed with families of all makes and models, but there was no baby attire. No baby geek jokes. No Ring of Sauron pacifiers. (Seriously, it comes with a plastic ring and rules the happiness of everyone within 100 yards. Why isn't this sold everywhere?)

The swag failure wasn't limited to kids. Sure you could jump through hoops to get some crappy free T-Shirts but nothing especially clever. Even the Penny Arcade merchandising booth was seriously limited. I can't help but think this has to do with them reorganizing their store, but they weren't carrying any of their best shirts.

In the interest of full disclosure, both Tom and I got suckered into their book + shirt sale, but we were dying to buy something!

PA Q&A

2010-12-06T11:20:00.002-06:00

We promptly about faced and headed to the main theater. It's important to note that planning should be done on a real map, not the one handed out to convention goers. The main theater was at Benaroya Hall, a mile away. It's a lovely theater that holds 2,500 people, or 4% of the people at PAX. We arrived at 10:20 AM at the end of a line that circled the entire building and wrapped multiple times through the building. Our place in line was somewhere between 2,500 and 3,000. You can imagine our ire.

Lucky for us, there was a break down in seat management, and we were able to get into the theater by standing against the back wall of a balcony. We were clearly a fire hazard, but who cares! The developer of Wing Commander, Deus Ex, Thief, Ultima, and System Shock was on stage!

We were soon kicked out.

Not to be discouraged, we used our encounter power 'Mosey'. When activated the player is inconspicuously placed at the end of the line -- In this particular case, the end of the line of people being kicked out i.e. the front of the line of people waiting to get it. Within seconds someone left and we were in with real seats.

Yet another lesson, they clear the theaters in between each session. That means that you will be at the end of the line for whatever show is happening in that theater next. When choosing panels you want to see, realize that you can only see one of two shows separated by a 30 minute window.

Choose wisely.

That being said, they violated the rules and didn't clear the theater after the keynote. We were in prime seats for the first appearance by the internet demigods, Mike and Jerry.

This was our indoctrination to the most important lesson of PAX. The PA kids are hilarious. Not just funny, but truly and genuinely entertaining. Take a look at the schedule, and plan to attend every single time they take the stage. You will not regret it.

Think of it as an Evening with Kevin Smith, except there are two of them.

PAX

2010-12-02T11:40:00.003-06:00

The show floor opens at 10 AM and Warren Spector speaks at 10:30. Our plan was to hit the Guild Wars 2 booth, acquire tickets to their private talk about dynamic emergent events, and be at the main theater by 10:30. Seems like a reasonable plan except we're at a video game convention filled with people just like us. Did you know that a record breaking 67,600 people visited PAX this year? That's 25% more than the largest KU football game ever. Dangerco Field, the Seattle Seahawks football stadium, could not seat us. There isn't a major league baseball stadium in existence that could hold us.

Geek Pride!

Whoa, sorry, blacked out there for a minute. Where was I? Right, we arrived at the queue room at roughly 9 AM. As you can imagine, we weren't the only ones there.

First lesson, the queue room is a must visit. There are huge video boards run live by someone with a sense of humor. Quizzes, games, commentary on the audience, and videos abound. Waiting in the queue room was better than some of the panels we visited.

Second lesson, it isn't a queue. The show room floor is separated by a giant accordion wall. They open the wall at 4 different locations along the wall. One of those locations is at the END of the line. If you showed up at 10 AM, you'd walk right in.

Third lesson, you want to visit a private show? For Guild Wars 2, first you stand in line, a long line, to play the demo. You will then receive a bandanna for playing, which you must wear all day. If you are seen walking around by a Guild Wars 2 employee somewhere on the show room floor, you will receive 2 playing cards. You need to collect a set of 5 out of 15 total card types. You then turn those cards in... to be entered into a raffle, for the tickets to the show.

Give up, now. You'll be a happier person.

Also, it will probably be online online when you get home.

Our Adventures in PAX!

2010-11-30T17:14:00.002-06:00

Our first trip to PAX was a pretty amazing experience, and it has left us with many PAX tips and tricks for next time. In these epic posts, I'm going to try and archive our voyage, so that nothing is lost for future generations.

The first thing we learned was actually in the MCI airport. We were flying Midwest/Frontier because they were the cheapest and served chocolate chip cookies. How can you pass that up? The cookies are a big selling point. However, our price analysis failed to incorporate the $20 check bag fee for BOTH WAYS. Yes, that's an additional $40 you have to pony up for your bag to have a comfy flight. We will probably fly Southwest next time.

Oh, and this years Cookie Monster award goes to Tom! He is a cookie eating machine! The man ate his airplane cookies plus extra from Sam. Then during the layover in Denver partook in a bag of Famous Amos cookies. Then again during the flight from Denver to Seattle!

Once in Seattle we set off by light train and foot to our hotel. This is where we learned that Google Maps gives directions based off the assumption you're in a car. Needless to say, the one way streets of downtown Seattle made the hike much longer than it needed to be. Lucky for us, the Google Maps update for walking directions came down the day we got back.

The hotel was pretty nice, and only a mile from the convention center. However, there were two poor decisions that really stood out. The first was one of a fiscal nature. Our room had a nice view, two full beds, a nice fold out couch, and a beautiful 46" flat screen TV.

It also had the cheapest possible toilet paper. Ever. You could see through this razor sharp insult to my nethers. They spent the cash to give us brand new shampoo everyday, but can't buy two ply? This same cost cutting ridiculousness showed up each day with the fruit bowl. Bananas are cheap, invest in some with color.

The second issue was one of design. They had a very nice all day deli/breakfast area and a comfy lobby for waiting on the shuttle. But that wasn't enough for them.

They wanted a bar too.

To fit the bar in, they just extended the front desk. Seriously, we were sitting on bar stools being served drinks by the same lady checking in the family of four. Their full liquor license hadn't come in, but I'm sure their customers are eagerly awaiting the opportunity to drink Irish car bombs with some stranger's 6 year old.

I'm not a Witch!

2010-08-26T11:18:00.002-05:00

I've been calling my wife 'my wif' since the day we were married. I do it because I like to misquote Valerie, Miracle Max's wif, err wife. Mostly I get odd stares when I do it, but shut-up, it's my thing.

Anyway, today I've been vindicated! In the 1st millennium English language, i.e. Old English, there were 3 pronouns used to describe humans: One for male, one for female, and one for person. Exactly like certain groups want today! Oddly enough the 3 words broke down like this:

Male : wer
Female : wif (yay!)
Neutral : man

'Wif' eventually became wife, 'man' became the neutral reference as well as the word for male, and the word 'wer' came to be a prefix for shape changing humans.

Thanks new fun blog!

BED

2010-08-24T12:19:00.000-05:00

I found a couple of new strange fact blogs that have been filling my head with useless data to annoy my family and friends. For instance, this is an excellent post on the Radiation levels of bananas!

Lots of fun right?

The "banana equivalent dose", or BED, is used by nuclear power plants to put radiation leaks into perspective. Basically, how many bananas would you have to eat to be similarly irradiated?

Generally speaking, bananas contain way more radiation than what is leaking out of a nuclear power plant, and they frequently cause false alarm in radiation sensors when going through customs. Though, they are not as radioactive as the brazil nut.

Potassium-40, the radioactive element in bananas, decays into Calcium-40 most of the time. Unfortunately its half life of 1.2 billion years means it isn't a significant nutritional source of Calcium.

DC Universe

2010-07-28T10:51:00.002-05:00

CoH was the first and last super hero MMO I played. It was an excellent game, and we still referrer to its ideas 6 years later. I played CoV, but it's really the same game. Also, you're a villain, not a super hero.

The same group put out Champions Online, which flickered due to <blog deleted, so I guess we'll never know>

Anyway, DC is putting out their own MMO, and this is the foundation story.

Pretty dark, huh? If they can keep that vibe in their gameplay, this should be an excellent game.

Shiny Suds!

2010-07-26T14:52:00.001-05:00

I saw a scrubbing bubbles commercial the other day, and it reminded me of this brilliant ad for the labeling of cleaning products.

Remember to use the luffa.

Elevation Chart

2010-07-13T10:55:00.001-05:00

This is a fun graphic from OurAmazingPlanet. There's lots of good info on it, but there are two bits that I want to draw your attention to.

1.) The depth of drilling by the Deepwater Horizon. 18,000 ft below sea level! Their drill is over 3 miles long. That's halfway through the Earth's crust.

2.) The Mariana Trench is the deepest point in the ocean at 36 thousand feet. On January 23, 1960, the Trieste submarine reached the ocean floor of the Trench. So in 1959 we put a probe on the moon, and 4 months later we dived to the deepest point in the ocean.

What have we done lately?

Nuclear Weapons in Spaaaace!

2010-07-04T22:45:00.004-05:00

Man, when we get a new toy, we really want to play with it. Turns out in 1962, the U.S. blew up a hydrogen bomb in outer space. Now space is a big place, so maybe this isn't a big deal.

But we wanted to SEE it blow up!

Those fools ignited 'The Bomb' only 250 miles up. In comparison, GPS satellites orbit at 12,000 miles. 250 miles up is basically the International Space Station, or half the distance to the Hubble.

Thanks NPR!

Extra Lives

2010-05-23T21:46:00.000-05:00

I finished reading Extra Lives by Tom Bissell before it is available to the public. A friend loaned me his 'Bound Galley', which are advanced copies handed out for review. Somehow the book is cooler for being pre-release.

Anyway, it's an interesting read if you play games, but it's an excellent read if you have played most of the AAA titles in the last 5 years. The author walks through a number of his emotional moments in gaming, of which I shared similar moments but vastly different experiences in the very same games. If you haven't freed the Little Lamplighters from the Slavers or made the choice between Kaidan and Williams, then I'm not sure you're going to understand his connection to characters he simultaneously lambastes and lauds.

The writing is funny and insightful, though his more literary background does show up in an odd mixture of obscure references and detailed definitions. For instance, he explains that a bug is an 'instance in which the game behaves in a way that is not intended'. Yet, on the previous page he drops a John Gardner reference like it's immediately obvious who John Gardner is and why he is important.

What Bissell really nails is an understanding of where games really shine, the direction designers should explore if they ever hope to convince the Eberts of the world. The key is in the unique and highly personal experience of the individual gamer.

Capturing what playing Left 4 Dead feels like is not easy. But set Left 4 Dead to its highest difficulty level, recruit three of its best players you can find, push your way through one of the game's four scenarios, and make no mistake: What will go down will be so emotionally grueling, it will feel as though you have spent an hour playing something like full-contact psychic football. The end of the game, however it turns out, will feel epic to no one who did not take part in it, but those who did take part will feel as though they have marched, together, through a gauntlet of the damned.

Personality Defined

2010-05-21T12:10:00.003-05:00

My sister ran across this blog post about proper relationship maintenance. It's a funny read, and I highly suggest it. Anyway, my wife read it, laughed, and said, "This is you."

She appreciates that I call attention to her.

Chrome Speed Tests

2010-05-18T11:44:00.001-05:00

Chrome is another browser trying to break into the collective mind share that is internet society. IE is the old and busted incumbent, Firefox is the scrappy underdog, and Chrome is a proof of concept. The concept here is speed.

To illustrate how incredibly fast the newest Chrome is, the kids at Google put together a series of highly entertaining tests.

2 out of 3 involve fire...

The fryer was a nice touch.

Optical Illusions

2010-05-14T11:24:00.002-05:00

This is a fun illusion because the obvious solution, is not the solution.

Taxes

2010-05-12T10:11:00.004-05:00

Everyone can agree that taxes are necessary part of any number of social benefits, but no one likes paying them. The Tea Party movement in particular has built their soap box around preventing new taxes. One third of their Contract from America is centered around reducing and preventing taxes, and the rest are indirectly related.

There is a reoccurring theme when people complain about taxes. They complain about paying them, but ultimately they don't know how much they pay. How many of you can say with certainty the percentage of their income that went to taxes last year?

I imagine most would be surprised to learn that 2009 had the lowest tax bills in 60 years. In fact, we've been enjoying very low taxes for the last decade. Of course the effects of a very low tax rate are evident.

Their response of course is that we need to shrink the government, but they will be unable to point to which programs to cut. Our government tends to do good work with the money we give them. Ultimately, the hard truth is that we will need both a raise in taxes and cuts in spending in an effort to prevent this:

Liberals Read Conservative News

2010-04-21T11:58:00.004-05:00

And vice versa. It turns out that we don't all live in our own bubbles of conservative and liberal. We do consume our news from a verity of sources. This graph from SSRN shows how 'fair and balanced' the different media sources are compared to each other.

As you can see, when it comes to debating our friends, disagreements are going to be rare. Conversely broadcast news, such as CBS and NBC, do portray a more moderate view.

The paper does point out that Fox News is the exception, offering a diet of conservative news 99 percent higher than the average internet user consumes.

Apple, The New McDonald's

2010-04-16T10:33:00.004-05:00

Apple banned Mark Fiore's app for his political cartoons under Section 3.3.14 from the iPhone Developer Program License Agreement. Apparently it's a CYA clause that states:

Applications may be rejected if they contain content or materials of any kind (text, graphics, images, photographs, sounds, etc.) that in Apple’s reasonable judgment may be found objectionable, for example, materials that may be considered obscene, pornographic, or defamatory.

I'm thinking they want to put a hard lock down on anything remotely adult oriented so they can make a bid for putting iPads in the hands of young students. Basically by adopting McDonald's strategy they start generating familiarity at a young age to propagate brand recognition.

It's clearly an effective strategy, but it makes it a less desirable device for adults and media outlets. Will periodicals and newspapers be prevented from making an app because they can't include editorials?

Update: Apple is asking Mark Fiore to resubmit his app after the onslaught of bad press generated by the rejection.

Clearly the hard hitting journalism and insightful audience present here at I Read Stuff had an impact on Steve Jobs personally.

Obama's 1st Year

2010-03-31T12:08:00.000-05:00

Recently I was asked if I like Obama as a president. The sad thing is that I couldn't really say. What has Obama done in his first year of office? Luckily, one of my more politically minded friends posted this link which lists off some of the changes our government has made.

Here are a few of my favorites:

- Passed Healthcare Reform: Say what you will about it, but helping sick Americans is a good thing. Actually, before you say anything, make sure you have at least a few facts.

- Signed into law, new mileage and emissions standard for cars and SUVs

- Ended the ban on Stem Cell Research

- Passed Student Loan Reform, and used the savings to significantly increase financial aid loans and grants

- Passed Credit Card Reform (Minimizing predatory lending, making the terms of credit cards clear, eliminating arbitrary rate increases)

- Drew down troops in Iraq for a 2011 withdrawal date

- Drew down Guantanamo Bay detainees and making preparations to close it by 2011

- Stopped the dismissals of homosexual individuals serving in the military by the Pentagon

I have to say, it's a much happier list than Bush's.

A Drop in the Bucket

2010-03-21T16:57:00.000-05:00

My mom sent me this high speed camera video of a single drop of water hitting the surface of a pool. As usual the mundane is turned into the amazing with 2000 frames a second.

OkGo

2010-03-04T11:18:00.001-06:00

OkGo is a great band who has a reputation for creating low budget attention grabbing music videos. The first such video involved some home grown treadmill chorography.

Their newest entry is more in line with "The Way Things Go". It's one thing to setup a Rube Goldberg machine. It's quite another to rhythmically set it to music.

Update: The group responsible for the design and implementation of the device gave a TED talk! Over 85 takes to get it right...

Weird Human Tricks

2010-03-01T18:23:00.003-06:00

Bobby McFerrin shows a very simple example of how the human mind is wired the same no matter where you go.

Guaranteed to make you smile.

I know you were singing along in your head.

Mosquito Pew Pew 2

2010-02-15T16:55:00.002-06:00

Advancements have been made! If you would recall, last year I mentioned a program for mosquito control that involved lasers. The driving force is to reduce malaria, but I see a lucrative home market dyeing for this tech.

Well, this article reveals that a working prototype exists made from second hand ebay electronics. Here's how it works. Infrared LEDs, like the one in your remote, are installed in fence posts around the protected area. They beam light in a line from one post to another creating a barrier of light.

A camera on each fence post detects shadows cast by insects breaking the light plane and directs a small nonlethal laser beam to the insect. The nonlethal laser illuminates the insect and measures size and wing speed. Based off of that information it determines the type of insect.

The software is able to distinguish between male and female mosquitoes, bees, flies, etc. Once it has been determined to be a female mosquito, the only human biting mosquito, the firing arc is checked for obstruction. If nothing is in the way, a more powerful laser is activated to destroy the bug.

That sounds pretty cool, but personally I'd like to see some slow motion video of it in action.

I love the plumb of smoke as they go down like WWI fighter planes.

Houses As An Investment

2010-02-08T17:54:00.003-06:00

I've owned a home for over 7 years now, and I've come to realize a hard truth. Your home, and mine, is not an investment. By investment I mean money that is put away with the purpose of earning profitable returns. (Thanks wiki!)

On the surface it appears that owning a home does net you a profit. You buy it for a certain price, and then years later you sell it for more. Unfortunately, that simplistic view leaves out two important factors.

1) Maintenance costs. How much money did you spend to put a new roof on your house? How much was that fence? The new water heater? Replacing the carpet? The blinds? How much of your 'profit' was bled away after years of home ownership?

Still think you're ahead? Look behind door number 2:

2) Inflation creates the illusion of wealth. A Yale economist laid out this graph of home prices over the last 100 years. He kindly removed the effects of inflation so we can more clearly see the value of our homes.

Outside of the latest housing boom and current bust, home prices have stayed just about the same. If you bought a home in the 60's, you can expect it to be worth just about exactly the same price.

Your home is inflation protection, and little else. Or course, you get to live in it, so there are some perks.

Fail Blog 2009

2010-01-11T17:17:00.001-06:00

Yay! It's a look at the best Fails of last year!

I feel like this should be mandatory viewing for junior high kids.

See all those stupid things? Someone has already done them, and they hurt themselves. Learn from the idiots.

I'm a Firestarter, Twisted Firestarter

2009-12-21T16:28:00.004-06:00

Oh man, I know what I'm getting for next year's men's gift exchange. Check this thing out.

It's a hairdryer on steroids.

Basically it solves 2 of the 3 necessary things for fire. It blows life giving oxygen, and it heats that oxygen to over 1,000 degrees Fahrenheit! You have to supply the wood.

You might say that this takes the fun out of building a fire, but I say it allows us to burn more stuff.

Interview Questions

2009-12-16T17:06:00.003-06:00

A friend linked me to this entertaining list of the latest 'interview questions'. It reminded me of way back when I was in school. Microsoft was the big bad culmination of programming skill, and all the interview questions that were passed around came from them.

This set is from the current king of the hill, Google. While Microsoft's questions tended to be very technically oriented and not really worth posting, this assortment of questions are a bit more abstract.

And here they are,

How many golf balls can fit in a school bus? Answer
How much should you charge to wash all the windows in Seattle? Answer
In a country in which people only want boys every family continues to have children until they have a boy. If they have a girl, they have another child. If they have a boy, they stop. What is the proportion of boys to girls in the country? Answer
How many piano tuners are there in the entire world? Answer
Why are manhole covers round? Answer
Design an evacuation plan for San Francisco. Answer
How many times a day does a clock’s hands overlap? Answer
Explain the significance of "dead beef". Answer
A man pushed his car to a hotel and lost his fortune. What happened? Answer
You need to check that your friend, Bob, has your correct phone number, but you cannot ask him directly. You must write the question on a card which and give it to Eve who will take the card to Bob and return the answer to you. What must you write on the card, besides the question, to ensure Bob can encode the message so that Eve cannot read your phone number? Answer
You're the captain of a pirate ship and your crew gets to vote on how the gold is divided up. If fewer than half of the pirates agree with you, you die. How do you recommend apportioning the gold in such a way that you get a good share of the booty, but still survive? Answer
You have eight balls all of the same size. 7 of them weigh the same, and one of them weighs slightly more. How can you find the ball that is heavier by using a balance and only two weighings? Answer
You are given 2 eggs. You have access to a 100-story building. Eggs can be very hard or very fragile means it may break if dropped from the first floor or may not even break if dropped from 100th floor. Both eggs are identical. You need to figure out the highest floor of a 100-story building an egg can be dropped without breaking. The question is how many drops you need to make. You are allowed to break 2 eggs in the process. Answer
Explain a database in three sentences to your eight-year-old nephew. Answer
You are shrunk to the height of a nickel, and your mass is proportionally reduced so as to maintain your original density. You are then thrown into an empty glass blender. The blades will start moving in 60 seconds. What do you do? Answer

What Linemen Do Best

2009-12-11T10:36:00.001-06:00

Zebrie Sanders made one of those mistakes that will forever be mentioned at family gatherings. I imagine there won't be a week that goes by that he doesn't hear about this on the practice field.

Playing as an offensive lineman for Florida State, Zebrie didn't hear the snap count during a play in the 3rd quarter against Florida. In fact, most of the line missed it. The rest of the line tried to recover the broken play, but not Zebrie. He decided that the snap just hadn't happened yet, and waited for it.

Twilight

2009-11-25T15:33:00.001-06:00

Twilight is a pretty controversial conversation topic on the internet, but Kevin Smith once again cuts straight through to the heart of the matter.

Tree House Security

2009-11-04T17:19:00.001-06:00

Why isn't this product sold at every Wal-Mart! It needs some look and feel changes, but modern plastic molding will fix that.

What is it?

It's a secret knock door lock. That's right. It's a specialized motor you place over your dead bolt. It listens to the knock on the door, and unlocks the dead bolt if it's the correct knock!

Brilliant!

Do you think they could make one that opens the garage when I bang on it?

Christopher Walken: Still Awesome

2009-11-03T14:15:00.002-06:00

Ladies and Gentlemen!

Put your hands together for Mr. Walken performing Lady Gaga's opus, Poker Face!

Variable Speed Bumps

2009-10-23T14:31:00.001-05:00

This is a pretty brilliant idea, and I hope it catches on. Decano Industries makes speed bumps that only appear if you are driving over the speed limit.

The system measures the level of impact your car makes when it touches the front of the bump. If the impact is low enough, the rubber covered triangles collapse under the weight of the car. If the bump is too vigorous, the triangle locks together jolting the driver.

This would be great, because even the over sized speed bumps require you to slow down under 20. Lawrence puts those things in 30 mile per hour zones, which I find highly annoying. I'm obeying the law, why do I need to be bothered.

You could even put a large number of bumps clumped together to make it very uncomfortable for speeders.

Ad Man from TED Evil

2009-10-14T11:47:00.002-05:00

This is a very humorous talk given by Rory Sutherland about perceived value of intangibles, and why it's important that we increase its value.

Definitely worth a watch, but if you can't spare the time, I'll give you a few of the highlights.

The basic premise is that if you would like to live in a future with fewer material goods, you want to live in a world that values intangibles. For example, engineers were asked how to make a 3 hour train ride more bearable. Their solution was to build a 6 billion pound track that shortens the trip by 40 minutes.

Super.

The ad man's answer, from an intangible standpoint, you should employ all the world's top super models to hand out the best wine for free during the trip.

It would cost half as much.

Another story, this one from the 19th century, Ataturk wanted to discourage the wearing of a veil in Turkey. He saw it as an old tradition that was holding back the Turkish culture.

Boring people would have just outlawed the veil. Ataturk make the veil compulsory for prostitutes to wear.

Italy discovered another interesting piece of intangible value. In Britain, you get points for each traffic violation. You lose your license after receiving 12.

Italy, instead, gave the driver 12 points and deducting the points for each traffic violation. They discovered that loss aversion is a much more powerful influence on people's behavior.

The best advertising campaign he discussed was one for a cereal called Shreddies. It's basically Brittan's version of Wheat Chex. This was their advert.

Finally, he finished with a quote from G.K. Chesterton.

"We are perishing for want of wonder, not for want of wonders"

Hilariously, right after the TED video is an advertisement for Rolex.

Lots of Slow Bullets

2009-10-11T22:04:00.000-05:00

This is 10 minutes of bullets being filmed with high speed cameras.

You're welcome.

Use the Stairs

2009-10-09T14:18:00.000-05:00

This is a neat idea for behavior modification. They transform this subway stairwell into a piano as a means of entertainment.

They saw a 66% increase in the number of people taking the stairs over the escalator. The question I have is if those numbers would stay up. Would the novelty wear off, or would people continue to choose the piano?

What if every stairwell in the subway was transformed... Too annoying?

Computer Artists

2009-10-06T15:18:00.000-05:00

There have been a couple of developments in computer image creation that I thought were worth motioning. The first is called seam carving. The way it works is the computer or user identifies areas of the photograph that are unnecessary.

For instance, given a picture of two kids in a field, you could easily add or remove sections of the grass between the two kids affectively stretching or shrinking the image.

The 1 minute mark of the video has a great example.

The second interesting image processing tool uses a repository of images such as your 10 gigabyte photo library or Google image search. The user provides stick figure drawing of what image they desire, and the system discovers photos and matches them to the sizes provided by the sketch.

The results are instant scenes that never happened.

Hiding From Ronald McDonald

2009-09-29T08:12:00.003-05:00

This guy went through the trouble to contact AggData for the geographical location of all 13 thousand McDonald's in the US.

"Why?", you ask.

He wanted to find the point where a person would be the furthest from any McDonald's. He graphed up this map of all McDonald's in the process.

The results of his data mining are a bit depressing.

Between the tiny Dakotan hamlets of Meadow and Glad Valley lies the McFarthest Spot: 107 miles distant from the nearest McDonald’s, as the crow flies, and 145 miles by car!

2 hours! The furthest you can possibly get from a McDonald's in 3.5 million sq miles is 2 hours by car!

Left 4 Dead Famous

2009-09-27T12:09:00.000-05:00

A buddy and I play L4D on a semi regular basis. We play with the unwashed masses, which tends to be full of real crack heads. Every so often we'll get a really fun group. The most recent of these groups had a guy recording the session.

This is the result:

Projection Technology

2009-09-15T10:52:00.000-05:00

I haven't thought too much about what you can do with a projector, but these guys have clearly been studying it for a long time. Using some kind of high definition projector and very precise alignment, they have created a show on the side of a mansion.

The tricky thing is not the application of light, but the application of shadow.

Volcano From Space

2009-09-11T16:34:00.000-05:00

The ISS passed over Sarychev Peak as it exploded into a 5-mile high plume of ash.

Urinal Considerations

2009-09-03T14:44:00.002-05:00

This is a real intellectual urinal consideration.

No laughing.

My original source of this data is the XKCD blog, but it is currently broken. I don't know if it will recover, so I will recreate the Google cached version.

After reading this paper on such an important subject, see if you can't put your new knowledge to the test.

Urinal protocol vulnerability

When a guy goes into the bathroom, which urinal does he pick? Most guys are familiar with the International Choice of Urinal Protocol. It’s discussed at length elsewhere, but the basic premise is that the first guy picks an end urinal, and every subsequent guy chooses the urinal which puts him furthest from anyone else peeing. At least one buffer urinal is required between any two guys or Awkwardness ensues.

Let’s take a look at the efficiency of this protocol at slotting everyone into acceptable urinals. For some numbers of urinals, this protocol leads to efficient placement. If there are five urinals, they fill up like this:

The first two guys take the end and the third guy takes the middle one. At this point, the urinals are jammed — no further guys can pee without Awkwardness. But it’s pretty efficient; over 50% of the urinals are used.

On the other hand, if there are seven urinals, they don’t fill up so efficiently:

There should be room for four guys to pee without Awkwardness, but because the third guy followed the protocol and chose the middle urinal, there are no options left for the fourth guy (he presumably pees in a stall or the sink).

For eight urinals, the protocol works better:

So a row of eight urinals has a better packing efficiency than a row of seven, and a row of five is better than either.

This leads us to a question: what is the general formula for the number of guys who will fill in N urinals if they all come in one at a time and follow the urinal protocol? One could write a simple recursive program to solve it, placing one guy at a time, but there’s also a closed-form expression. If f(n) is the number of guys who can use n urinals, f(n) for n>2 is given by:

The protocol is vulnerable to producing inefficient results for some urinal counts. Some numbers of urinals encourage efficient packing, and others encourage sparse packing. If you graph the packing efficiency (f(n)/n), you get this:

This means that some large numbers of urinals will pack efficiently (50%) and some inefficiently (33%). The ‘best’ number of urinals, corresponding to the peaks of the graph, are of the form:

The worst, on the other hand, are given by:

So, if you want people to pack efficiently into your urinals, there should be 3, 5, 9, 17, or 33 of them, and if you want to take advantage of the protocol to maximize awkwardness, there should be 4, 7, 13, or 25 of them.

These calculations suggest a few other hacks. Guys: if you enter a bathroom with an awkward number of vacant urinals in a row, rather than taking one of the end ones, you can take one a third of the way down the line. This will break the awkward row into two optimal rows, turning a worst-case scenario into a best-case one. On the other hand, say you want to create awkwardness. If the bathroom has an unawkward number of urinals, you can pick one a third of the way in, transforming an optimal row into two awkward rows.

And, of course, if you want to make things really awkward, I suggest printing out this article and trying to explain it to the guy peeing next to you.

Edit: The protocol may not be international, but I’m calling it that anyway for acronym reasons.

Amazon's Area 51

2009-08-27T10:17:00.002-05:00

This little link came down the pipe from one friend to another and another and so on. It is a search result on Amazon for products tagged with 'wtf', and these products certainly deserve it.

A quick sampling of the 426 available products:

Jesus Adhesive Bandages with bonus toy!
From the product description: "We all know Jesus saves, but he also heals too! The Son of God has lent his powers to the Jesus Bandages!"

Ornaments To Remember: Taco
Hand blown glass and everything. Nothing says classy like a glass taco on the tree.

Wedding Chapel
Seriously, it's a fully constructed 180 sq ft chapel delivered for $22 grand.

And finally, everyone's favorite classic Amazon gift:
Tuscan Whole Milk, 1 Gallon, 128 fl oz.
Please just read the reviews, hours of fun.
(Someone redid Poe's Raven as a tribute to the milk, evermore)

G.I. Joe

2009-08-18T15:42:00.000-05:00

It's been a G.I. Joe week. The movie came out and earned its $175 million production budget. GIJoeCon did their action figure para-drop in KC. Then I watched two full DVD's of the original Joe cartoon while tooling around Colorado in the back of a Tahoe.

And finally this:

Wedding Dance

2009-08-04T15:48:00.001-05:00

One of my newer sisters posted this link to Facebook, and it's too good to let it disappear off the end of my News Feed.

This group deserves huge kudos for thinking of it and pulling it off.

That's how you celebrate a wedding.

Leashes

2009-08-03T14:20:00.000-05:00

I'm sure you have all seen the various leash like apparatuses that are available to new parents. (e.g., the cute backpack with the long tail or the more blatant curly neon wrist leash)

In theory they are a good idea. You give your kids the illusion of freedom they crave while maintaining a sense of security.

Yeah, this is why they are a bad idea:

Great Frisbee

2009-07-31T14:07:00.000-05:00

I haven't seen much of Ultimate Frisbee. Obviously, I've never played it either. However, there's a guy in my office that has played it, and he laid this catch out for me.

1. The thrower has his pivot leg completely extended horizontal while he does a forearm toss. (Forearm toss is the harder out to in wrist movement) As he throws it he loses his balance and falls, which sends the disc too high.

2. The receiver, who is now on the wrong side of the defender thanks to the high toss, tips it to the defender. The defender can't quite reach it, and he tips it into a mass of two other players.

3. From the mass of players another receiver emerges. The disc is leaving out the back of the end zone. In order to save it, the second receiver leaps from the end zone (in bounds), catches it, and flicks it back into the field of play.

4. The original receiver makes and easy catch, and scores.

GOOOOOAAAAAALLLLLLILILILILILILILIOOOOO!!!!!

Best House Ever

2009-07-28T16:59:00.002-05:00

This is the problem with people who don't watch science fiction! They miss out on Laser Molding.

Movie Quotes!!!

2009-07-27T12:04:00.001-05:00

This is awesome!

Alice in Wonderland

2009-07-22T17:26:00.002-05:00

Johnny Depp doing crazy once again. If he's not careful, he'll be typcasted.

Mia Wasikowska doesn't really look 10...

Disaster!

2009-07-07T10:19:00.002-05:00

The movie 2012 is coming to a theater near you! If you've seen the trailer, you've probably got mixed feelings. You really want to see those special effects, but at the same time you don't want to pay for what will certainly be a terrible movie.

Well, someone else had those same thoughts. They remixed the trailer in order to make it more candid about its true identity.

Yay! Bubbles!

2009-07-01T10:26:00.003-05:00

High speed cameras are cool. Bubbles are fun too, but they need more color.

Fly Power

2009-06-29T17:28:00.002-05:00

This is a digital clock.

It's not immediately apparent, because what's really on display is a microbial fuel cell. You see that trapped fly? It's on its way to a bacteria bath, where it will be literally digested and converted into electricity.

I can't tell if these machines actually function, or if they are just design ideas for the future. According to the world's memory, the technology for these robots is available. So even if the pictured robot doesn't work, it could be built.

Honestly, I just wonder about the smell.

Sprinkler vs Man

2009-06-25T15:10:00.001-05:00

This is a fun little drama played out in 3 parts behind the façade of Target.

Part 1: The Setup : 0:00
Part 2: The Incident : 1:05
Part 3: The Fix : 2:42

My favorite has to be his first stepladder decision.

Happily Ever After

2009-06-17T11:04:00.002-05:00

Sometimes, happily ever after, isn't. Dina Goldstein took a crack at photographing Disney on hard times.

Snow White learns that Dwarves with jobs are far better than a dead beat prince.

Perhaps Grandma's cooking isn't trans fat free.

See the other princesses here.

In Honor Of Work

2009-06-12T10:49:00.001-05:00

More Trailers!

2009-06-10T11:12:00.014-05:00

I've been super busy at work, so I'm going to just steal this post from Wired. It's the top 10 trailers from E3 2009!

E3 Trailers

2009-06-03T09:03:00.002-05:00

Two trailers of particular note came rising to the top of the E3 cup.

Left 4 Dead 2
Note the new weapons, the running of the gauntlet, and the first new special zombie.

Star Wars: The Old Republic
Note the number of Jedi and Sith. I believe they fully intend to let everyone play a Jedi, and it doesn't look as silly as I thought it would.

Parkour/Gymnastics

2009-05-29T11:57:00.000-05:00

I've seen quite a few videos of some amazing Parkour achievements. This guy's video is easily the best one. He mixes in some gymnastics, which seems like an obvious foundation for the types of stunts required for Parkour.

Yes, like all professional athletes, his ego has grown with his skill.

Don't Eat The Marshmallow!

2009-05-28T11:52:00.002-05:00

This is a short TED about an odd study done at Stanford in the 1960s. Walter Mischel took a bunch of 4 year old kids and separated them out individually. Each kid was sent into a room by themselves and filmed.

Before they went into the room they were given a marshmallow, and told not to eat it. If they managed to not eat the marshmallow for 15-20 minutes they were told they would receive a second marshmallow. Their fortunes would double!

You can imagine what a 4 year old did when left alone with a marshmallow; 2 out of 3 ate it immediately.

The other kids, the ones that did not eat the marshmallow, struggled with the decision. They paced, groaned, picked at their clothing, and some smelled the marshmallow. There is one little girl whose face is dusted with white because she smelled the marshmallow so often.

They did a follow up study on theses kids 15 years later. They discovered that the kids who did not eat the marshmallow had an average of 210 more points on their SAT than the kids who gave into temptation. In fact they seemed to have found a direct correlation of how long the child waited to how well they performed in school.

The more interesting case for me, is one girl ate the middle of the marshmallow. She left the shell for the doctors to find, so she could get her second marshmallow.

Moral Roots

2009-05-21T14:50:00.000-05:00

Anyone who has worked with children knows that the first draft of the human mind isn't blank. We come into the world with certain dispositions. Jonathan Haidt believes he has collected the best candidates for the absolute basics of the moral mind. He claims that all humans carry strong desires towards these 5 categories.

1. Harm/care - We bond and feel compassion while carrying strong feelings about those how cause harm.

2. Fariness/reciprocity - The foundation of most religions, this is where we get the golden rule and hell.

3. Ingroup/loyalty - Groups exist in the animal kingdom, but they are either very small or they are all siblings. Only among humans do you find very large cooperating groups.

4. Authority/respect - Obviously both humans and animals generate respect from power and brutality. However, humans have learned to base it on more voluntary deference including love.

5. Purity/sanctity - Any kind of ideology that tells you that you can obtain virtue by controlling what you do with yourself or what happens to a place. i.e. 'eating healthy/local/organically is a virtue'

Beer Pong

2009-05-14T15:05:00.001-05:00

I never really played beer pong. It was talked about, and I've seen it played. But it never really caught on with my circle of friends. However, that is not case with this group. They have taken beer pong to a level that borders professional.

Bask in their awesomeness:

Clearly a number of these shots took a bunch of attempts, but how good do you have to be to even attempt them?

Awkward Family Photos

2009-05-13T11:27:00.003-05:00

This blog is too awesome to keep to myself. As luck would have it, today is one of their very best posts. I'll recreate it here, but I suggest you peruse their history.

The Choker

Make sure you notice the priest collar, the dress shorts, the calculator watch, and the drop dead stare from the daughter. An awe inspiring family photo.

The Rising Sea's First Victim

2009-05-05T18:04:00.003-05:00

The domain registry system is a strange thing. One of its most peculiar aspects is the .tv country code. The top level domain has obvious application for television, and the country of Tuvalu has made good money from it.

However, that is all about to change...

Thanks to global warming, the sea level is rising, and Tuvalu is a scant 4.5 meters in elevation at its highest point. The IPCC predicts that over the next 90 years, the ocean will rise 40 cm. 1.3 ft may not seem like a lot, but it's enough to destroy water tables, crops, and drinking water for the entire country.

Tuvalu will literally drown in our lifetime.

Chicken! From a Cup!

2009-04-30T17:48:00.003-05:00

Well, it's from a can, but I can't resist the Dr. Tran reference. Anyway, this guy's blog post about canned chicken has been making the rounds. What makes it special? They canned the whole chicken...

Mmmmmmm finger lick'n good.

Read about the whole experiment here.

Did You Know?

2009-04-25T11:19:00.002-05:00

This is a fun video my mom sent me that illustrates the exponential nature of our world.

Big numbers set to Fat Boy Slim; it doesn't get any better than this!

My Name Is Simon!

2009-04-22T11:42:00.004-05:00

Drawing is one of those things that appears to be entirely talent based. It's like some people are born able to draw and other people can't. I am solidly among the 'can't'. No amount of Bob Ross can help me.

Not to worry, technology has come to the rescue! The scribbler uses boring old math to turn my crappy drawing:

Into a modern work of art!

Isn't it amazing?

$126.00 without frame.

Gin Vapor

2009-04-17T17:11:00.002-05:00

Here is a new one. A 'temporary' bar has set up shop in London offering gin and tonic air. With a ultrasonic humidifier they will pump fun juice into a room for $7 an hour.

Sounds like fun, but there are problems.

You have to wear protective clothing like this:

Half the reason for going out is to put on your bar cloths.

The second problem is what do you do with your hands? There is a reason that social activities revolve around food, drink, and smoking. It gives you something to do during a break in conversation.

What are you suppose to do here? Breathe deeper?

Car Pancake

2009-04-14T11:27:00.001-05:00

I can't put into words the raw power shown in this video. Those crazy Mythbusters have busted the myth that a car would pancake between two semis in season 3. However, in last night's special they do their best to provide the necessary force to pancake a vehicle to the point of fused metal...

Somalia Coast Guard

2009-04-13T14:26:00.002-05:00

This is an interesting essay about how to develop a modern day band of pirates.

Step 1: Dissolve your government. Overthrowing dictators is fun and educational, but it inevitably leaves the role of 'figurehead' unfilled. Somalia's dictator was overthrown in 1991 by some allied rival gangs who turned on each other after their victory.

Step 2: Lose your livelihood. With no government to apply regulations or protection, the coastal waters of Somalia become free for the raping of natural resources, mainly fish.

Step 3: Have radioactive waste wash up on your shore. In 1998 an Italian newspaper uncovered an illegal dumping deal between Achair Partners and Progresso. They were dumping incredibly toxic materials for $8 a ton. To dump that material properly it would cost over $1000 a ton.

Step 4: Take matters into your own hands. The local fishermen began patrolling their own waters. Effectively becoming their own coast guard, the fishermen began hijacking illegal vessels in their waters.

Step 5: Profit. With no government check coming in the mail, the fishermen soon discovered other ways to pay for their endeavors.

Funny how different a dictator looks when put in perspective.

AIG Buys Cows

2009-04-09T11:30:00.000-05:00

A friend of mine sent me this analogy for why AIG went so terribly wrong. Here is the story of two cows.

You have two cows.

John Paulson borrows one cow so he can sell it for $100. He gives you $10 as collateral.

You buy your neighbors cow for $100, which you finance by taking out a $90 loan from the bank and use John's $10 to make up the rest.

You brag to everyone about your financial health. You have assets--two cows you own, plus one Paulson owes you--worth $300, and liabilities of just $100.

A third of the country goes vegetarian.

You thought your two cows were worth $200 and now they are worth $140.

You express confidence in your financial health. Your assets are now worth only $200--your two cows plus the one John owes you--but your liabilities are still only $100. If necessary, you could sell the assets at this distressed price and pay off all your loans.

You hold onto your cows because you are sure the market is "dislocated." Some day someone will want to eat beef again.

The rest of the country goes vegetarian. Your two cows are now worth $2 each to guys who want to make dog food.

John Paulson buys a cow in the market for $2 and he gives it to you as repayment of the loan. You now have three cows worth six bucks.

John wants his $10 back.

The bank calls. It wants its $90 back.

You call the Federal Reserve and ask for a bailout.

Religiosity

2009-04-07T17:21:00.002-05:00

We've had an almost crushingly large amount of religious conversations lately, and I would be remiss to not archive at least a few of the links we ran across during our discussion.

The conversation ran over a wide range of topics, enough that I'm not going to attempt to encapsulate it here in it's entirety. Instead I'm jut going to provide the links to a few interesting nuggets, and I'll let you hash it out in your own head.

One of the first questions we bantered about was how much religion exists in the world, and how it is currently fairing. Turns out Gallup did an interesting survey to look at how 'religious' is our country.

It's an quick read, but the two main points that come from it are,

The more rich/first world your country is, the less stock you put in religion.
America is below average for global religiosity, but we're very religious relative to other rich/first world countries.

(As an aside, Gallup showed that the Southern States, such as Mississippi, Louisiana, Oklahoma, and Texas have similar religious fervor to Lebanon, Iran, and Iraq.)

The second path the discussion took was whether those people claiming religious ties were true believers or if they were more likely agnostic. The central question being does a religious person behave in a different manner than an atheist? Does belief in a supernatural higher being change a person's day to day life?

We didn't really get around to answering that, but we did get a lot closer to defining atheist and agnostic. The atheist looks something like this:

Now, what's the difference between an invisible, incorporeal, floating dragon who spits heatless fire and no dragon at all? If there's no way to disprove my contention, no conceivable experiment that would count against it, what does it mean to say that my dragon exists? Your inability to invalidate my hypothesis is not at all the same thing as proving it true. Claims that cannot be tested, assertions immune to disproof are veridically worthless, whatever value they may have in inspiring us or in exciting our sense of wonder.

and the agnostic looks something like the video below.

April Fools

2009-04-01T15:38:00.005-05:00

Yay, the internet goes crazy!

Nine Inch Nails releases a new album produced by Timbaland called Strobe Light.

Expedia is now offering trips to Mars for only $99!

Warner Bros. acquires The Pirate Bay

Alpine Hero was Announced:

ThinkGeek is selling Squeeze Bacon, a Unicorn Chaser, and my personal favorite:

The Tauntaun Sleeping Bag.

Note the zipper is a lightsaber.

Sleep Running

2009-03-31T15:39:00.000-05:00

The first 10 seconds of this represents what my dog Crash will do. The rest of this is just crazy.

Black Wednesday

2009-03-26T17:57:00.002-05:00

I ran across a mention of 'Black Wednesday' in a random article I was reading. I'd never heard of it, so I started doing some wiki research. Turns out a man named George Soros affectively did a bank run on the British government.

It's a little confusing and the nitty gritty details aren't available, but here is what I understand so far. In 1990, the British government joined the European Exchange Rate Mechanism. The purpose of the ERM was to pave the way for the Euro at the turn of the millennium. To introduce a new currency they want to stabilize the exchange rate of the Pound to other European currencies, specifically the Deutsche Marks. By joining the ERM, Britain basically said the Pound was worth 2.95 DM. The government pledged to prevent the Pound from moving more than 6%.

Now enters George Soros, who is against a fixed currency and for making personal profit. He and his buddies see an opportunity here that only one of the world's richest men could take advantage. Lucky for him, he is one of those men.

He decides to short the Pound in a big way.

What that means is, he borrowed a huge amount of Pounds from someone. With those Pounds he purchased huge amounts of other currencies. He basically converted 10 billion pounds into Deutsche Marks. On paper, that sounds a bit silly, but in the real world that money has to physically exist in the market. There has to be enough Deutsche Marks and enough people willing for the exchange to occur.

At first it's not that big of a deal, he gets a 2.95 DM for each Pound. Now there is no one else willing to trade him DM for Pound, so he says he'll accept 2.94 DM per Pound - and then 2.9, 2.85 etc. all the way down to 2.778 where the British government says it will never drop below.

In theory it doesn't matter anymore if someone is waiting to exchange DM for Pounds. The government will take that trade all day long. Except the government only has so much DM on hand.

They ran out.

The market now panics and everyone is trying to get rid of their pounds. They don't care what currency they get it in either. The value of the British Pound falls to ridiculous lows and stays there. The government is forced to withdraw from the ERM and the Pound is no longer a 'fixed' currency.

Soros then takes his highly over valued DM and easily pays back his original loan which was in Pounds. This venture reportedly earned him $1.1 billion.

Little Red Ridding Hood

2009-03-25T17:29:00.000-05:00

This is a cool reinterpretation of Little Red Ridding Hood.

The style is hard to describe, but it's a natural extension of wiki-diving once we're fully plugged in.

Air Purifier

2009-03-20T12:58:00.001-05:00

I'm sure you've all heard about the Ionic Breeze Air Purifiers. Basically Consumer Reports found that they pumped entirely too much ozone into your living space. This can cause all kinds of nasty lung problems like coughing and reduced lunch function.

But what type of air purifier should you run? Ah, well our good friend Kamal Meattle ran into this problem while living in New Delhi. The pollution there had already reduced his lung capacity to 70%. He became allergic to the city air, and it was killing him. To combat this problem, he did what anyone would do...

He called NASA.

His team and NASA worked out that there are three house plants that together produce all the fresh air needed for indoor living.

Per person you need
4 shoulder high Areca Palms
6 waist high Mother-in-law's Tongues
1 Money Plant

With those plants you can literally live in a bottle, or if you would prefer, a space ship.

For personal use, the most interesting plants are the Mother-in-law's Tongues and the Money Plant. The Tongues are interesting because they do the CO2 conversion at night when you're most likely to have the window's closed. If you put a couple in your bedroom, your respiratory system will thank you.

The Money Plant is especially useful because it actually pulls formaldehydes and other chemical pollutants out of the air. This is your true Air Purifier.

I don't live in an area that has a lot of air pollution, but I'm sure my air quality could always use improvement. I might even be able to keep these plants alive.

Mosquitoes Get the Pew Pew

2009-03-19T15:52:00.002-05:00

Do you remember the Star Wars missile defense program from the 80's? A part of that research revolved around the MIRACL, a high powered deuterium fluoride laser that actually shot down a number of test missiles. Some of those same scientists have moved on to greener pastures, specifically the Bill & Melinda Gates Foundation.

Ol' Bill and friends have recently been making a lot of noise about solving the Malaria problem. Disease infested mosquitoes are killing millions of people world wide. With a little direction and a healthy dose of cash, those crazy kids have developed one hell of a bug zapper.

The idea is that it would detect female mosquitoes, the ones that bite, by the frequency that they beat their wings. Once identified, a fast tracking laser pops out and roasts the sucker, Loony Tunes style.

It can kill millions of mosquitoes in minutes, and I want one bad. Screw those stupid candles and bug spray. I want a strategic mosquito defense platform shooting red hot beams of light at the blood suckers.

And I want them to make the sound of popping popcorn when they die... more therapeutic than bubble wrap.

Happiness End Game

2009-03-04T17:39:00.002-06:00

Three posts in a row about happiness. Clearly this is a self help blog.

Tell me your feelings...

Noooo! This is the last happiness post I promise. I've actually shown this video to so many people that I thought it was on my blog. I couldn't find it though, so I'm posting it now. Here is Dan Gilbert giving a TED talk on how happiness works.

It's one of my favorite TED talks. Dan describes multiple experiments that cover how the brain synthesizes happiness. The last bit is particularly interesting because he outlines how being stuck with a decision will ultimately lead to the most happiness about the decision.

Henry Kissinger summed it up with this quote, "The absence of alternatives clears the mind marvelously."

Dashing Your Hopes

2009-03-02T17:12:00.001-06:00

Cracked is turning into one of my favorite sites because of their ridiculous list reporting mechanism. It's perfect for bite size pieces of insight that make you and I feel smart.

Here is one of their recent lists that caught my eye:

5 Things You Think Will Make You Happy (But Won't)

#5 Fame

For example, have you ever lit up a bong at a party? Were you worried that one of your friends would snap a photo of you, sell it to a tabloid for thousands of dollars and ruin your career?

Well become famous, and then try it

#4 Wealth

Suddenly every relationship is in doubt. Do they actually care about you? Or do they just want a seat on the Bling Train? Would they sell you out to get to your cash?

#3 Beauty

Attractive people live in a world where most feedback they get is bullshit. The compliments mean nothing--they've learned that's just the sound people make when they walk by. That's why studies show they tend to dismiss the genuine compliments they get in other areas (their work, personality, sense of humor, creativity) because it gets lumped in with the same counterfeit flattery they've been getting their whole lives.

#2 Genius

Want to know what it's like to live life as a genius? All you have to do is go hang around with the stupidest, most incompetent people you know. Cringe at their stupid jokes, feel the frustration as they fumble even the easiest tasks and fail to grasp the simplest concepts. Being a genius must be like that, only everyday. Everyone is an idiot compared to them. They're living Idiocracy.

#1 Power

The thing is, it's the desire itself that's poisonous. You find that need for power most in the type of person who hates having to obey all of society's social contracts, particularly the ones that require them to not act like cocks all day. These are the people who are only nice guys because of fear of retribution if they do otherwise, so their main goal is to become strong enough that no retribution is possible (this is why sociopaths tend to seek positions of power, by the way).

Smelling the Roses

2009-02-26T11:45:00.001-06:00

This popped up in one of our many internet video showings that we are wont to do. It's a nice little wake up call from the comedian Louis CK.

Now that you've had your chance to look down on all those silly people who don’t appreciate life, I want you to be AMAZED by the power of the Internet.

Crisis of Credit

2009-02-20T07:44:00.000-06:00

This popped up on Facebook, and I thought it was a really well done explanation of the current economic crisis. This is the first break down I've seen that doesn't make bankers look like complete idiots, risk takers perhaps, but not idiots.

Beer Talent

2009-02-18T09:46:00.000-06:00

A friend sent me this video of how to drink beer. I'm not sure this can be taught...

If you watch closely you can see him unhinge his alien jaw.

Snapshot

2009-02-17T16:35:00.000-06:00

Juan Enriquez gives a candid view of where our economy is now and the technologies that might save it. The first half is spent making you worry about the hell bound train wreck of an economy that we're currently riding.

The second half of the presentation is about technologies that will change the nature of our species. The nice thing about the technology half is that it focuses on technologies that really exist rather than 50 years out. The downside is that he doesn't really explain why these technologies will impact the US economy in particular.

In any case, it's a good talk and worth the watch.

End of the Rainbow

2009-02-13T17:52:00.003-06:00

Wow, I didn't think it was possible, but this guy found 'the end of the rainbow'.

NADD

2009-02-11T15:11:00.000-06:00

I've self diagnosed myself with Nerd Attention Deficiency Disorder, or NADD. I discovered the disease here. While reading the article, I was interrupted by email, chat, a visitor, a meeting, and lunch. While writing this post I signed an office card, researched a feature, discovered a bug in our software, and directed someone else to start a blog.

Classic NADD.

As the article phrases it:

Folks, this isn’t multi-tasking. This is advanced case of Nerd Attention Deficiency Disorder. I am unable to function at my desktop unless I’ve got, at least, five things going on at the same time. If your count came close, you’re probably afflicted, as well. Most excellent.

Cell Phone Karma

2009-02-09T10:02:00.001-06:00

My mom sent me this ridiculous commercial, but I can't stop laughing about it.

Stitches

2009-02-03T15:34:00.000-06:00

The Fire Marshal came by the other day to verify the safety of our home. He wasn't satisfied with the way our sump pump and battery backup system were plugged in, so we picked up a surge protector.

The surge protector didn't fit exactly, because of a plastic post on the back side. I decided to remove the post with a razor blade scraper. It proved more difficult than expected, and I had to cut the post on all sides.

Of course, the final cut was directed at my left hand.

The razor cut down my middle finger and slammed home into the fleshy spot directly below my index finger. I apparently hit an artery because blood was plentiful and squirting.

We drove to the minor emergency center, where we were given paper work to pass the time. An hour after being cut, the doctor finally looks at my hand. I warn him that it will bleed, and he produces a 'chuck' to absorb the blood.

A 'chuck' is basically a flat diaper. I filled 4 with blood. The doctor was surprised...

While I'm bleeding out through my hand, the doctor is pushing lidocaine into the wound with a needle. This is supposed to numb the area, but it isn't working. To me, it feels like he stabbing my hand with a needle and filling it with water.

Unpleasant.

After two full syringes, the doctor decides it's a bad batch of the drug. He gets a brand new bottle, and thankfully, it works. I get 4 stitches, a tetanus shot, and prescriptions for antibiotics and Vicodin.

Now my hand is all bandaged up. I have full feeling and full movement of all fingers. Everything is going to be fine. Ironically, my arm where I received the tetanus shot hurts more than the cut on my hand.

Statues

2009-01-30T11:37:00.000-06:00

The Oscars have announced their nominee list for the 81st Academy Awards, and as per usual, they have failed to recognize an entire genre of film. This year in particular has a decided 'Art as Broccoli' feeling to it.

Don't get me wrong, I respect them as a critical body, and I am interested in finding out who wins. However, it's difficult to invest myself in 'Best Picture' when the nominations are exclusively Dramas.

I want a 'Most Entertaining' category.

Thankfully, they aren't the only game in town. The Razzies have released their nominees for the worst AAA titles to hit the theaters, and their entire awards process revolves around entertainment.

I hope Uwe Boll gives an acceptance speech for his 'Worst Career Achievement'.

Driving Skills

2009-01-29T14:24:00.001-06:00

My first instinct is to label this as terrible driving skills, but at the same time I don't think I could get this to happen if I tried repeatedly. Clearly, this woman has no equal.

Partial Eclipse

2009-01-28T11:13:00.002-06:00

January 26th, 2009, Manila Bay, Philippines

No Kitty, This Is My Pot Pie

2009-01-26T15:41:00.002-06:00

In college, one of my favorite meals was Marie Callender’s Chicken Pot Pie. Everything you needed for a nutritional meal came in one small package. 12 minutes in the microwave, and you had a tasty dinner. It even comes with its own bowl, so there's no mess.

The perfect food until I read this...

Men's Health rated it as the Worst Supermarket Meal of 2009. Weighing in with an impressive 1,060 calories, 64 grams of fat, half of which is saturated, and a 1,440 mg brick of sodium this ridiculous chemical cocktail would kill a man if consumed in large quantities. Lucky for me, my wife doesn't like pot pies, so I don't buy them anymore.

We'll be sticking to our healthier Chipotle burritos.

The Theory of Intelligence

2009-01-21T10:49:00.003-06:00

A friend sent this to me last night. I've heard the argument before, but I hadn't heard it presented with such elegance.

Cliff explains to Norm,

'Well you see, Norm, it's like this... A herd of buffalo can only move as fast as the slowest buffalo. And when the herd is hunted, it is the slowest and weakest ones at the back that are killed first. This natural selection is good for the herd as a whole, because the general speed and health of the whole group keeps improving by the regular killing of the weakest members.

In much the same way, the human brain can only operate as fast as the slowest brain cells. Now, as we know, excessive intake of alcohol kills brain cells. But naturally, it attacks the slowest and weakest brain cells first. In this way, regular consumption of beer eliminates the weaker brain cells, making the brain a faster and more efficient machine. And that, Norm, is why you always feel smarter after a few beers.'

Star Wars (by Amanda)

2009-01-15T16:58:00.000-06:00

I know it's shocking, but some people haven't actually seen the Star Wars trilogy. It's tragic, I know.

This young lady one these unfortunate souls. She's seen bits and pieces though, and based off of those pieces she will retell the epic adventure.

I think Sally Struthers is working on a Telethon for people like Amanda.

The Cost of Eyelashes

2009-01-14T10:24:00.000-06:00

Coming soon from the same people who brought you Botox, it's Lumigan! Recently approved by the FDA, these glaucoma treating eye drops have the side effect of causing a patient's eyelashes to grow longer and fuller.

Of course, your eyes and eyelids might also change colors, but who cares! Longer eyelashes! At $120 a month, it's as cheap as Botox. Hell, I bet you could get them both done on the same trip. Hurray!

It's a good thing there's nothing better to spend that money on...

There Can Be Only One!

2009-01-09T11:16:00.003-06:00

...or millions if you’re a Turritopsis. Turns out this jellyfish has figured out how to live forever. The trick is to go through puberty in reverse.

After growing all the way up and asexually growing some babies. The adult Turritopsis reverses the process by reabsorbing its tentacles. It then turns itself inside out and reattaches to a surface. Once attached the babies are released, and the Turritopsis regrows its body to become young again.

Currently Scientists say they have no evidence that the Turritopsis will ever die barring disease, predators, and sword swinging MacLeods.

Question, would you be willing to regress to junior high after spawning? I assume your brain would have to return to the gutter from which it came...